Sannin Manor
by Balloon Animal
Summary: Sasuke is comfortable living alone in an affluent suburb, but is in for a rude awakening when he meets his new neighbor. AU
1. Chapter 1

Sannin Manor

I've always wanted to write an AU story, because honestly I don't mind them. And thought this was a nice scenario to put the characters in. So many fun possibilities! This will be a romance story between Sasuke and Naruto but I'll try to keep a realistic dynamic between them. I think it's that rivalry between them that gives the story spice. I know that there will be (awkward) sex in the story, but I'll only up the rating until it appears. Anyway, here is the short prologue. Enjoy!

**Sannin Manor**

**A Story by Balloon Animal**

**Prologue**

The glaring sunlight was peeking through the blinds. Sasuke groggily blinked his eyes and rolled over to avoid the light shining directly on his face. What day was it again? Oh yeah, Saturday. _Good._ No obligations today. It was simply a free day to do nothing and relax (something he rarely allowed himself to enjoy), so he pulled the covers over his head and prepared to sleep for another three hours.

Three large door knocks echoed from the entrance hall.

Sasuke froze.

Straining his ears, he listened for any more sound and furrowed his brow in confusion. He hardly ever had visitors come by and especially not at this time of day. Why would someone want to see him this early in the morning? When he didn't hear anything further he relaxed. Whoever it was it certainly wasn't important enough to interrupt his nap time.

He sighed and nestled back into his blankets savoring the blissful semi-conscious state he had entered.

Three knocks rattled his front door once again. They were louder than last time and a touch more frantic. Sasuke growled as he rolled onto his back and palmed his face. It was probably just some persistent evangelists coming to try and convert him and waste his time. He really didn't want to deal with that, so he decided that ignoring the knocking was the best course of action. They'd go away eventually.

The knocks had now turned into relentless thumps. They sounded dangerously close to busting the doors off their hinges. Sasuke threw the blankets off in a rage as he scoured his bedroom for his robe. This better damn-well better be important because nothing less than a bomb raid warranted Sasuke to prematurely get out of bed on a Saturday morning.

He hopped on one leg as he clumsily tried to pull a pair of jeans on. Boxer shorts weren't quite decent enough to greet people at the door. "I'm coming! For God sakes…" he yelled as the persistent knocking continued. He gave a yelp as he pulled his zipper up too quickly. Hissing, he finally pulled his night robe over his shoulders and raced out his bedroom door.

Descending a marble staircase he tilted his head to see if he could identify the blurry silhouette that stood behind the stained glass window that framed his door. Even at this distance he could tell it was someone irritating. He approached the door and winced as another deafening knock resounded from it. He paused at he touched the doorknob and took a moment to set his face into a scowl he had been perfecting for a lifetime. Ok, ready to go…

He cracked the door open a generous half-inch as he peered out the crack. "I'm sorry" he mumbled without even bothering to get a proper look at the person he was addressing. "I'm not interested in buying anything today. Thankyou!" And promptly shut the door.

He didn't even get a foot away from the door when a series of rattling taps iterated from it once more. He growled as he turned around and this time allowed two whole inches to stare at the perpetrator. "What do you want? He hissed. Money, what?!"

A blond teenager looked back at him slightly stunned. "Ahh, no" he chuckled "I'm not selling anything. "I'm--"

"Thankyou but I'm satisfied with my religious beliefs. Goodbye." Sasuke made a move to slam the door shut, but it seemed at the boy had been expecting it this time as he pushed his weight against the door and wedged his sneaker encased foot between the door and the door frame, preventing it from closing.

Great. This guy was especially intent on ruining his morning. Sasuke growled as his finally relinquished and fully opened the door to face the interloper. "Pardon me for being rude, but who the hell are you?"

"Well, nice to meet you too princess." The blond kid frowned.

"Listen" Sasuke sighed as he raked fingers through his bed-matted hair. "Whatever church you're with, I'd be appreciative if you took us off your list."

"No" the stranger waved his hand "you don't understand, I'm not from any church or asking for money or anything. I, I'm… _wow_, is this where you live?!" He seemed to have completely forgotten what he was going to say had he gaped, transfixed at the room behind Sasuke. He even made a step forward to get a closer look. Sasuke put arm across the doorway to block the blond kid, wondering if it was possible to be any more annoyed than he was right now.

"Excuse me" he placed a palm on the guy's chest to push him away. "If you don't tell me who you are right now I _will_ call the police."

"Hmph" the stranger grumbled as he folded his arms. "Some welcome I'm receiving." It was only now that Sasuke noticed he was carrying a small paper bag at his side. Not for the first time he wondered what he was here for. This ruffian certainly didn't look like a local, especially adorned in that gaudy orange hoody. It wasn't uncommon for people to come around these parts looking for handouts. He squinted in suspicion. This guy had better explain himself.

"I'm Naruto!" he pointed a thumb towards himself and grinned. As though that was supposed to explain everything.

Sasuke felt his body sag. Well, this was progress at least. "Okay, uh, _Naruto. _Can I help you?"

"Geeze, you're not a cheerful guy are you. I know your type. You one of those people who sit miles above everyone looking down on them, not realizing that the thing keeping them up there is that long stick up their as--"

"**What do you want?!"**

Naruto recoiled, offence clear on his face. He huffed and stuck his nose up. "Well if you're going to be rude I don't see why I should tell you." He must have noticed the vein that was threatening to burst on Sasuke's forehead because he took a step back and tugged his collar chucking nervously. "I'm your new neighbor!" He said and gestured towards the large mansion that stood next to Sasuke's.

"Oh" Sasuke relaxed as he let this information sink in. "I wasn't aware that the previous owner had sold his house…"

"Well, not exactly." Naruto looked down as he scuffed his foot across the tiles of the porch.

Sasuke squinted, trying to read into Naruto's body language. "Soo… you're moving in with him?"

"Yeah, well… not really. I mean, I guess he might've…that is to say…" He trailed off and swallowed. He took a long dramatic sniff and looked Sasuke in the eye. "I inherited it."

"Ah" Sasuke said understanding. This Naruto kid had suddenly become a lot more interesting. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Yeah" Naruto said quietly, looking somber. "It was all pretty sudden. But, you know I guess I was lucky to have known him at all." He gave a smile that Sasuke could tell was forced. "Man, when you meet a pervert as big as him it's hard to believe that he could be gone. I learned heaps from him."

"Right…" Sasuke said not sure how to respond to that. "Uh, what was your relation to him? Uncle?"

"Nah" Naruto scratched the back of his head as he looked at his new house, almost as if he couldn't believe it himself. "He was my Godfather. Probably the only family I really got to know." He looked back at Sasuke abashed. "Sorry, I don't mean to dampen the mood or anything. Say! Is anyone else in your house up? I'd like to meet them too."

Sasuke shifted, wanting nothing more than to say goodbye to this guy and go back to bed. "There is no one else."

"Oh! Really! You mean you live here all by yourself?" Naruto said, shocked.

"I have a cleaner who comes once a week and a carer who occasionally checks up on me. But yes, I live alone."

"No way!" His eyes widened in such a way, that although he was probably around the same age as Sasuke, it gave him the appearance of someone much younger. "I thought I would be the only one! Wow, I guess I'm not as out of place in the neighborhood as I thought I was."

_I wouldn't say that…_thought Sasuke. But he had the sense of mind not to say this to Naruto. Instead he leaned against the doorway and looked the blond up and down. "I'm guessing your previous living arrangement wasn't the same standard."

"Ah it wasn't so bad." Naruto fidgeted. "But you know, it wasn't a _mansion_. Anyway, I'll be closer to school if I live here."

Hmm, Sasuke murmured only half paying attention. His mind was devising a way to end this conversation as quickly as possible. He really couldn't care less about dead-beat neighbors moving next-door. He'd never spoken to anyone in his neighborhood and wasn't about to start. He valued his solitude.

"Oh I nearly forgot!" Said Naruto and began to rummage through the paper bag that he had been holding. Sasuke raised an eyebrow when he was presented with a large yellow candle,

"What's this?"

"It's a candle."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "I _know_ it's a candle. Why are you giving me a candle?"

"It's a gift. You know, a neighborhood gift for when someone moves in."

Sasuke reluctantly accepted it and held it away from his body in distaste. "Aren't I the one who's supposed to be giving you a present?"

"Well yeah" Naruto scratched the back of his head, "but this place is so posh I guess I just wanted to make a good impression. Um, its lemon scented by the way."

"Uh, thanks…"

Naruto paused and peered at Sasuke, as if only seeing him for the first time. He pulled back with a finger pointed firmly at the aggravated brunette. "Ha ha! Did I get you out of bed or something? Man, you look terrible."

Ok, Sasuke had had enough.

"Well it was simply _charming _meeting you Narugo--"

"It's Naruto."

"Whatever, but I'm a very busy person so I'll just…"

Wait! Naruto quickly placed his hand on the door looking back at Sasuke with exasperation. "I didn't even get your name."

"It's Sasuke" he relented, as he gave another push to close the door.

"Well Sasuke" Naruto strained, still not giving up. "Maybe we could hang out sometime. Perhaps we could even be--"

"No, I don't think so."

This clearly insulted the blonde. He puffed his cheeks out and glared at the indifferent teenager. "Bah, you're just like the rest of them. You know, you didn't even tell me about your family."

Sasuke's eyes darkened and he paused from his efforts at closing the door. "I really don't think that's any of your business."

"Well," Naruto huffed as he stepped away. "I'm sorry I live next door to such a jerk."

"Yeah. You should be."

The door slammed shut, rattling the stained glass window.


	2. A Great View

**Sannin Manor**

**Chapter Two**

**A Great View**

* * *

Naruto was having a hard taking in the juxtaposition between the three story mansion he would now call home, and the small dilapidated suitcase that contained his sole possessions. He had known that Jiraiya had been well off in his particular profession, but not _this_ well off. This was just unbelievable. He didn't even think his entire apartment block had been as big as this house.

He broke his focus on the house long enough to take another gander at the neighbourhood. Crystal fountains, topiaries and pebbled paths as far as the eye could see. And was that a _peacock_?! He shook his head wondering if he's ever fit in, in a place like this. That rude neighbour he met certainly didn't think so. What was his name again?

Oh yes.

_Sasuke_

He murmured the name under his breath like he was uttering a curse. He scrunched the paper bag he had been holding with his fist. His endeavour to greet the locals on his street wasn't as successful as he had hoped. Most often he would be greeted by an indifferent butler who would look his nose down at Naruto and say "sorry suh, the master of the house is not present" at which he would take the candle and say "veddy good suh, I am certain they shall be most grateful for your gift" and promptly shut the door.

Naruto sighed. He had been so worked up about being in such a new place he hadn't even given his own house a proper inspection. The key in his hand felt like a foreign object as he made his way down the cobbled path. He took a moment to admire the garden. Jiraiya had some very unusual landscaping. It appeared he had a particular penchant for frogs, as there were several enormous stones carvings of them scattered between the lily ponds and hedges. The largest one squirted water from its mouth into the central pond that lay in the middle of the path.

As he walked past it, he ground to a halt in shock. Was that? Yes. Yes, it was exactly what it looked like. Sculptures of buxom and very naked women were positioned beneath the bubbling water, standing in poses that were, well… provocative would be the politest way of saying it.

Naruto boggled, but didn't really know why he was so surprised. This _was_ the pervert hermit's house after all. How could expect any less? He looked up with some trepidation at the house ahead of him. He had a good feeling that this was just a sample of what he was going to witness inside that house. He squeezed his eyes shut.

_His poor virgin eyes. _

When he had first seen the house he immediately knew this was the one belonging to the notorious man. It was a startling contrast from the other pristine and polished white buildings that stood meticulously in order. The garden itself was of an extravagant display of eccentric wealth. The large frogs stood defiantly different from the trimmed lines of rose bushes that nestled in the gardens of the other mansions. But most eye-catching was the psychedelic choice colours the house itself was painted in. Florescent orange lined the gutters and railings to lead to a wash of purple across the walls. It was topped with lime green roof tiles that, strangely, were just crazy enough to work with the rest of the house.

Naruto chuckled to himself. From his brief encounter with the locals he was sure they held a degree of contempt for this eyesore in their otherwise upstanding neighbourhood. They probably hoped it would be sold and restored to a more acceptable appearance. Well, Naruto was happy to disappoint them. He didn't want the pervert Hermit's legacy to disappear.

Even the key to the front door was obscene. The key itself was an old fashioned bronze design, but the head of the key splayed out in two bulges that disturbingly resembled a very private area of a mans body.

He thought it was odd when he first saw it. Not because of its explicit nature, but rather he thought anything Jiraiya owned would exclusively resemble a woman, or at least a part of a woman.

However, when he saw the keyhole he understood.

In the same bronze colour as the key, there was a silhouette of a woman with her legs splayed open.

He had to look away as he put the key in and turned.

The large oak door creaked open and he was almost too afraid to look inside.

When he had peeked past Sasuke's doors he had seen an immense foyer with an elaborate marble staircase they drew the focus of the eye to the crystal chandelier. In other words, exactly what you would expect to see in a multi million dollar mansion. Therefore his eyes were not prepared to confront this spectacle before him. Although he wasn't completely assaulted with the sexual imagery he was expecting to see, what he did find was probably a lot worse.

Hanging on the back wall, at least six meters in diameter was the most revolting portrait Naruto had ever seen in his life. It was Jiraiya, lying across a polar skin rug, completely naked. The only thought for modesty was a conveniently positioned lock of his white mane covering his crotch. The knowing leer was painted on his face with unsettling accuracy. Naruto dropped his bag with the new revelation that his late godfather was a massive narcissist.

Naruto wiped the moisture from his eyes away with the back of his hand. He was going to miss that pervert so much.

Although Naruto didn't have many personal belongings, he was fortunately provided with everything he could possibly need (and things he didn't think he would ever need) inside this house. For any adolescent male it would have been a dream come true. But, as he stood in the doorway and listened to the silence echoing from the large rooms, he couldn't help but feel a little empty inside. The house was great, but from Naruto's perspective it was only the vestiges of an even greater man. He looked back outside past the trees and saw the white building where that Sasuke jerk-face lived.

Why anyone would actively choose to isolate themselves like that was beyond him.

He turned away and made his way into the extravagant house. His feet sank into the plush red shagpile carpet as he looked from the polished wooden stairway to the two adorning archways that most likely led to the kitchen and dining area. The set of lounges beneath the unmentionable portrait looked too comfortable to pass up, so he kicked off his shoes and climbed on to feel the velvety purple material that covered them.

He sprawled across them in relief. It was a day of adjustment and the futile effort of trying to greet the neighbours had drained him. He rolled his head and studied the furnishings of the house. It was certainly an interesting choice of décor. The dim lighting and the cloying colours made it look more like a bordello than a residence. He raised an eyebrow at the coat rack standing in the corner. It was another sculpture of a naked woman giving a 'come hither' pose. She certainly put the 'rack' in coat rack.

He closed his eyes and let his fingers trail across the fabric. At least he could give his Godfather credit for knowing what was comfortable. Sinking deeper into the couch he cracked and eye open when his fingers grazed a panel of buttons imbedded in the arm rest.

Strange. He pushed his body forward to get a closer look. There wasn't a television nearby, or otherwise he would have assumed it was an inbuilt remote. The buttons themselves looked innocuous enough. There were no clear labels or instructions so Naruto decided it was probably for something trivial like the lights.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he pressed the first shiny black button.

"Whawhawhawha!" His voice jittered. It was as though the couch had taken a life of its own. It began to violently vibrate as Naruto clung to the cushions in utter shock. The vibrations were pushing him to the farthest end of the couch. Bones were rattling in his skin and even the surrounding room was blurring. It took all his effort to pull himself back towards the buttons and figure out which one stopped these incessant vibrations.

He mentally cursed as he desperately mashed his fingers across the buttons. How many settings did this thing have? No, he didn't want it to pulse. Oh great, now it was even worse!

Finally, he hit victory when the vibrations lulled to a stop. He backed away from the panel drawing his legs to his chest, his body still trembling from the after effects. He'd probably have to tape that down lest it ensnare another unwary victim. His eyes darted to look warily at the rest of the furniture.

Now he was afraid to touch anything else.

* * *

"No fucking way!"

Kiba nearly tripped over himself as he took in sight before him. Even Chouji momentarily stopped his snacking, the chips in his hand hovering half-way between the bag and his shock-opened mouth.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, sighed and rested his hands behind his head. "This is troublesome…"

"I _told_ you guys!" Said a smug Naruto as he held the door open to let his friends file into the room. Kiba rushed past to frantically scour the shelves, occasionally letting out whimper or two.

"Well, yeah man but c'mon. That was coming from you…" said Kiba, wiping a trace of drool from his mouth.

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?!" Naruto scowled indignantly.

"I think what Kiba is trying to say, is that you have a tendency to exaggerate." Shikamaru sauntered over to peruse the content of the shelves. Chouji had recovered from his momentary stupor and resumed munching on his snacks, though now it was more a series of slow, thoughtful chews than his usual relentless gorging.

"I do not!" Naruto gesticulated wildly to prove his point. "I know a million people who would disagree." But his words fell onto deaf ears. His three friends appeared to have forgotten that Naruto was even in the room as they devoted their total attention to the vast, _vast _collection of pornographic DVD's his godfather had amassed.

Kiba sniffled in a rare display of emotion. "I didn't think this much porn existed, let alone be in the same room." He pulled one from the shelf to examine it before pushing it straight into Naruto's face, borderline hysterical. "This! I don't think this is even _legal_ in this country! Naruto, do you even understand what you have here? **Do you!**"

"It's just porn." Said Shikamaru.

"Just… ju?" Kiba blinked at his friend, unable to comprehend that statement. "_Just porn_?!" He backed away from Shikamaru in suspicion. "Are you even a guy? C'mon Chouji, back me up. There is no such thing as 'just porn'."

"Mmm."

"See! Chouji knows it!"

Naruto laughed; glad that at least two of his friends were suitably impressed. "If you think this is a lot, wait until you see the library."

This room was only one of the many questionable rooms this mansion housed. But it was probably the most interesting for a group of hormonal teenage boys. The room itself had no windows. Instead it was designed to be a personal movie theatre. Several black leather seats faced the enormous screen. No doubt they probably had inbuilt vibrators as well. The walls were lined with every genre of porn a teen boy could hope to dream of. They were meticulously arranged, and there was even a ladder provided to access the ones on the higher shelves.

"Hey Naruto, do you mind if I borrow a few? I promise I'll bring em back." Kiba didn't even wait for an answer as he began to stuff armfuls into his backpack."

"Er..I suppose so" Naruto scratched his arm. He felt guilty for lending out Jiriya's prized porn collection, even though it was technically his now. He could almost feel his Godfather's disapproving spirit looking down on him. "But you gotta bring em' back. And if you mum catches you, don't tell her where you got them from." He had met Kiba's mother before, and definitely didn't want to get on the wrong side of that woman.

"Sure thing, and don't worry about my mum. I have a special place that not even she would dare infiltrate" Kiba cryptically remarked as his backpack threatened to burst. Shikamaru had to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"Ok, I think you have enough. The porn isn't going anywhere."

"Yeah… yeah I guess you're right." Kiba reluctantly closed his backpack before casting a longing look at all the movies he would be unable to take home with him. His bag bulged from the jagged edges of the DVD cases.

"You sure are a lucky guy Naruto. Imagine having a place like this all to yourself." Said Chouji.

"I suppose so" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. Not every sixteen year old had the equivalent of the playboy mansion to call their own. But after spending just one night alone here, he was beginning to miss the smaller confines of his old apartment. Still, it was certainly fun to show people around and watch their reactions. Not even Naruto had discovered all the secrets of this place yet.

"C'mon, let me show you the master bedroom. You won't believe it!"

* * *

They couldn't believe it.

Even the usually indifferent Shikamaru looked impressed. The three boys scouted around the bed in total awe.

"This has got to be the eighth wonder of the world or something," Kiba breathed. "Do you know how many women would fit on this? Fifty, no, one hundred!"

"Its kind a pity…" Shikamaru commented stuffing his hands in his pockets. His three friends looked at him questioningly until Chouji finally asked;

"What's a pity?"

"Well," Shikamaru turned to look at his blond friend. "Naruto couldn't get a girl to save his life."

Kiba and Chouji erupted in laughter, but Naruto looked back at his friend with his face burning with humiliation. In typical Naruto style (and also to hide the fact he couldn't think of a witty comeback) he launched himself at Shikamaru.

The boy's eyes widened at the unexpected assault as Naruto's arms found their way around his waist and crash-tackled him to the mammoth bed. As their bodies hit the mattress, the surface gave way like jelly, and rippling waves spread to the very ends causing them to bob up and down for a few moments. Shikamaru groaned as he tried to pry himself away from Naruto. "Don't tell me this is a--"

"Waterbed!" Kiba screamed before dive bombing straight into the centre. His showy belly flop sent more swells spilling across the bed. Naruto and Shikamaru tried to sit upright but the task was difficult with a bed that rose and fell beneath them.

Then Chouji decided to join in with a running leap.

They were nearly thrown off the bed.

The four of them played around a bit, laughing as they tried to combine the force of their weight to send each other wobbling up and down. They all looked ridiculous. Eventually the activity became tiring and they settled and lay on their backs. Kiba was the first to point out that there was a huge mirror on the roof and they quietly stared at each other, as though looking at their reflections for the first time.

"That's kinda…" Kiba began.

"Kinky?" Naruto suggested.

"Well I was gonna say creepy, but yeah, that too."

They all snickered like typical teenage boys. "This is actually very comfortable." Chouji remarked and gave the bed another wobble. As they bobbed up and down Shikamaru stretched and gave a languid yawn.

"So you're really going to live here? Are you sure this is your kind of place? You could sell it and make a lot of money."

"No. I'm not going to sell it." Naruto was adamant about that. "If I sold it I'd… I'd lose a part of my family I guess. Anyway, I know it would've crushed that pervert if some snooty rich snobs moved in and turned his house into another one of those faceless mansions this street is filled with."

Naruto's friends cast each other uncomfortable glances. Naruto's family was a touchy subject. They knew he was an orphan, but next to nothing about why this was. Naruto had become very adept at dodging the issue when it was raised, or craftily steering the topic of conversation away from the subject. It was obviously something they couldn't force from him so they let it rest.

"I don't have to worry about money now." Naruto chuckled. "I never thought I would ever say that. He basically left me everything in his will. Although I can't access all of it until I'm eighteen, I'm pretty much set."

Kiba sighed in envy. "Who would've thought you could make so much money writing porn books."

"Erotic literature" Naruto corrected.

"Sure, sure. A very respectable profession."

They all had a small chuckle. There was a moment of quiet before Chouji asked: "so what are the neighbours like?"

"Ack!" Naruto rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his arms. "Awful. I tried to say hello to a couple of them but they all give me filthy looks. I guess they didn't expect someone like me to be moving into their 'upright' neighbourhood. That lady with nine cats that lived next door to me was better than my new neighbour."

"So you actually spoke to your neighbours huh?" Shikamaru lifted the arm he had been resting over his eyes to look at Naruto. "I bet they were in for a surprise."

"You know," Naruto admitted, "I was more surprised. Did you know that there is a guy the same age as me who's also living alone in the house next door? I though we might've gotten along, but he was a total jerk." He buried his head in his arms again. "Made me wanna egg his perfect house." He smiled when he imagined the expression he would see on Sasuke's face when he walked out of his mansion to find it all plastered with yolk. "Sasuke" he muttered.

"Sasuke…" Shikamaru repeated, rolling the name around his tongue. "You're not talking about Sasuke Uchiha are you?" He sat upright to stare at Naruto.

"I dunno, probably. Who is Sasuke Uchiha?"

All of his friends were sitting up now. It annoyed Naruto that they all seemed to know something he didn't.

"Sasuke… he's that kid who goes to Konoha Private. Apparently he's the first in all his classes and prefect of the school. He comes from a very wealthy and influential family" piped Kiba, chewing on his thumb in thought.

"He won the last two junior nationals in tennis," added Chouji.

"And," Kiba's voice lowered to a whisper, causing everyone to crowd closer to hear him, "no one knows for sure, but some people say his entire family was taken out by the _mafia_. He's very secretive and doesn't talk to anyone about it…"

"Ok, how the hell do you guys know all this?" Grumbled Naruto.

"Haven't you ever listened to the girls in school?" Asked Kiba.

"That's all they ever talk about." Shikamaru said in a way that indicated it was a subject that bored him immeasurably.

It was unusual with a person with such a reputation to pass under Naruto's radar. He hated him already. After his own personal encounter with the guy he could tell that he was just another brat born with a silver spoon up his butt No dark or mysterious past was enough justification to treat people the way he treated Naruto. It was a bizarre twist of fate that he was now living next to the guy. Speaking of which…

"Hey" he snickered. "Follow me onto the balcony. You've got to see the view I have."

His friends dutifully followed him out onto the balcony that was attached the main bedroom. Although it had a decent overlooking view of the rest of the suburb, there was nothing else particularly special about it. They all scratched their heads and turned to Naruto.

"So what are we supposed to be looking at?"

"Here, I'll show you" With a sly wink Naruto pushed back several potted palm trees to reveal a long white telescope. He gave it a stroke as though it were a pet dog. "When I found it, it was pointing at the house across the street. But when I had a look I only saw a bunch of ladies."

"Oh!" This caughed Kiba's interest. They all gather around and took turns looking at various houses.

"You do realise" Shikamaru said after he had finished his careful inspection of the lens, "that this is an industrial grade telescope. You could see the rings of Saturn with this."

"Yeah I suppose you could if you liked that kind of stuff" Naruto gave the telescope a spin before stopping it so that it was directly trained at the house next door. A devilish grin spread across his face as he adjusted the focus. "But I can show you something much more interesting. I, my friends, am looking directly into the bedroom of Mr. Sasuke Uchiha."

The sounds of disbelief were music to his ears. When he peered through the telescope it was so crystal clear it was like his was standing in the room himself. He supposed that the last thing Sasuke would be expecting was a bunch of school kids spying on him with a telescope, so he rarely drew his blinds. He was surprised to find that Sasuke's bedroom wasn't as fancy as what he had seen from the foyer of his house.

"So," Chouji asked "have you ever seen him do anything?"

"Well…" They all looked at Naruto with baited breath. "No" he had to admit. They all sighed with disappointment. "But hang on! You have to have faith with this sort of thing. I bet he has a really dirty secret he's hiding from someone. Those types of guys always do."

"Whatever Naruto. I still think those ladies across the street are more interesting." Kiba swivelled it around and resumed his ogling.

Naruto pouted. What was the point of having an industrial grade telescope if you couldn't dig up dirt on your neighbours? Stupid boring Sasuke. He was determined to find a way to get him back.

Shikamaru was leaning against the railing, looking down into the yard below him. His face had a pensive expression. This piqued Naruto's curiosity so he joined his friend and asked "what're you looking at?"

"Look there" Shikamaru pointed. Naruto squinted to figure out what his friend was referring to. "You see those statues in Sasuke's yard? They aren't just for decoration. I'm sure they have surveillance cameras installed inside them. Almost all of these houses would a have a system set up like that. You won't find anyone more paranoid than a rich person."

"So?" Asked Naruto a little confused. "What does it matter if Sasuke has cameras in his yard?"

"If I'm right, the people who installed them did a sloppy job." He splayed his fingers out like an artist determining the proportions of his subject. "There's a huge blind spot near that gazebo, leading straight to the back door. You could easily sneak past and not wind up on any of the surveillance footage."

Naruto leaned further over the railing to try and see what his friend had just described. When he turned back with a wicked grin plastered across his face Shikamaru closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Why do feel like I've just put my foot in it?"

"Shikamaru!" Naruto squealed. "You're a genius! You've just given me the greatest idea..."

Shikamaru sighed. Naruto's ideas usually meant only one thing.

Trouble.

* * *


End file.
